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I Am Not Going to Melt

When we lived in Pella and attended the Pella Open Bible Church, our family got to know a member whom I will simply call B. At the time that we first met her, she seemed elderly, perhaps partly because she needed a wheelchair. (Of course, at our age then, many seemed elderly. It is all relative.) We got to know B because we would see her being wheeled into church by someone who brought her. We often talked to her after church. She had really thick glasses and always had a smile on her face. She was friendly, engaging, and easy to talk with. She asked questions about your life and showed a sincere interest.

At one point in the last two years of our time at this church (though we didn't know that at the time that we were going to change), we became aware that the current party who picked up B from the nursing home and brought her to and from church needed some time off and was looking for a replacement. Marcia and I agreed that we could do that. It was during the season that only Christina was at home (or maybe a little overlap with Carrie also being home). So, either we would all drive to the nursing home to pick up B and then drive to church, or I would drive to pick her up and then come and get the rest at home and go to church, with the latter becoming more commonly done.

I recall one time when it was raining, I brought an umbrella with me into the nursing home. I held it over her body as I pushed the wheelchair with about 1.5 arms. When I got to the car, I needed to put down the umbrella so that I could help transfer her into the car seat. As I folded up the umbrella, I apologized to her that I couldn't keep holding it. Her response was, "That's OK. I am not going to melt." Her comment was in reference to the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz.

I will never forget this statement, both for the words that represented an attitude of gratitude for what she had, but also the attitude that she was easy to please and not demanding. While this continues to be a memorable statement from her, there are many other memories that can't be captured in a quip like that. If I was frustrated about something at work or home, picking her up always brought a new perspective on the issue and helped me to see things from a positive viewpoint. She was my beam of sunshine during those months (about two years) that we brought B to and from church.

As Christina entered third grade, she had a number of friends who attended Third Reformed Church, and they had a Sunday afternoon program for kids her age. The more she participated, the more she liked it and asked if we could switch churches. Marcia and I explored that option, and at a certain point, we did so. B continued for a while with someone else bringing her, but soon her age and health caused her to stop it altogether. Marcia and I (but more often just her) still came to visit B in the nursing home. There, we learned more about her life and how she got in the condition she was. We learned that someone in her life intentionally tried to cause harm to her, and caused the deterioration of her health so that she needed the wheelchair. The age of this event in B's life was when most people were starting to think of having children. This background, combined with her perennial upbeat perspective on life, underscored how she had made a deliberate choice to not be overcome with anger or bitterness, but to make the best of what she had at any time. This was a large positive influence on me. I know that I got more out of my time with her than she got out of her time with me. I miss her.


Published 2026-07-20.

If you find any errors in the text, please let me know. Thanks. Contact me with errors or comments using hibbardac@gmail.com. [Back to the top] [About the author, Al]

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